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Women regret abortions
"Rape crisis, birthing experiences, divorce law all got changed because women dared to speak the truth of their lives. If we can't hear women, then where are we?"
Peg Johnston, abortion clinic director
 
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Abortion patients speak out!
Jennifer: I used to be pro-choice, until I suffered the consequences of abortion, and realized it should be called poor-choice. It’s a poor choice because the truth is hidden from young women and men. Women begin making uneducated decisions, which leads to sorrow and regret. When I realized what I had actually done to my child, it was too late. Planned Parenthood told me that abortion was safer than giving labor to a full-term baby, they said it did not hurt the child, and it wouldn’t be very painful. I believed it was a procedure done by real doctors with years of experience, and if the government was backing it, I figured that meant it was completely safe and healthy. I also believed the morning after pill was safe, I was simply naïve.
When I was fifteen, my boyfriend and I were doing some things we should not have been doing at such an immature age. In the heat of the moment we made a mistake, we realized the consequences, and we started to worry. We decided to try Planned Parenthood, we had heard they would help us get out of this sort of "situation." I walked into the office and filled out some forms. I was asked to give a "donation" for the resources used that day. I sat down with a PP employee. She informed they would keep all of this private from my parents. If they needed to call, and my mom answered, they would pretend to be someone else. They would send me all my mail in an unmarked envelope. They proceeded to give me the pills, I took the first dose at the office, and they told me to take the remainder of the doses when I arrived home. Nobody told me about the adverse side effects, or chance for a terrible reaction. They sent me home clueless. I took the last dose around 10:00pm. I woke up an hour later, I was bleeding and I was throwing up so violently I couldn’t hold my self up in the bathroom. I screamed for my mom, and fainted on the floor. My mom found me unconscience on the floor. She did not know what was wrong with me. I am lucky, I could have died on the bathroom floor, and my mom would not have been able to tell the doctor’s how to save me. I thought it would be better to go to Planned Parenthood and hide what I had done. It was only easier for a few hours, than it became dangerous! (Morning after pill)
When I turned 18, I became pregnant. I wanted to have this baby, but my boyfriend told me if I had it, he would not be with me and I would have no place to live. I was so scared. I thought I loved him and would be with him forever, I was dead wrong! I went to the clinic a couple times, and chickened out every time. Finally when I was 14 weeks along, my boyfriend actually threw me out and I began to beg for mercy. I decided to give in and go to the clinic, the fear became enough to push me, I was not in the right state of mind. The clinic got me in the same day, they told me if I waited too long, it would be too late to perform the procedure in Iowa.
Nobody told me the truth. If I had nothing to be ashamed of, if this was really a good, healthy choice, why wouldn’t they tell me the truth? My child had feet and hands. Why does Planned Parenthood think by changing the word from baby to fetus it is no longer murder? Planned Parenthood is not there to help women- they separate a young woman from her parents, and a baby from his mother. I am ashamed to say, I laid on a table and allowed a stranger to rip part of my soul out of my body. This is not what I wanted, this was not a sane choice I made, or any woman makes. Planned Parenthood takes advantage of women who are not in the right state of mind, women who are scared, desperate, and ALONE.
I got through the procedure, they gave me a birth control shot and sent me home. Nobody at the office scheduled a two week check-up, they told me if I began hemorrhaging I should go to the emergency room. For two weeks I continued to cramp and bleed. I went back to Planned Parenthood, they told me it was normal for this to happen. They said I should go home and continue taking my pain medication. I went home and that night I awoke to tremendous pain. I stood in the doorway of my mom’s bedroom with a blood-soaked towel between my legs. All I could say is "something is wrong".
I went to the ER, they did an ultra-sound and found that tissue had been left in my cervix, my cervix had not clamped completely shut and it caused a horrible infection. An OB did an emergency D & C, I was in the hospital for 3 days on IV medication for the infection. I was left with significant scar tissue on my cervix. I found out six months later I had cancer cells on my cervix, I should never have been put on birth control without a pap smear, which Planned Parenthood never performed. I had a miscarriage a year after that, when I CHOSE to get pregnant. When I finally got pregnant with my son, I had a long, hard labor because my cervix would not dilate past 2 cm because of all the scar tissue.
I can tell you of all the physical scars and pain I went through because of this abortion. But none of it compares to the gut wrenching, sick feeling I have in my heart and empty womb. I would give anything for those nine months, I would gladly share my life and my body with my child for nine months. I would give anything to trade this pain and hurt I will carry in my soul for the rest of my life. I can still see my child- I still have visions of all that my baby would be. She runs and she plays in my dreams, she has blonde curly hair, and ocean-blue eyes. She was and is a child, not an embryo or fetus!
Something HAS to change, for the women who will never look into their child’s eyes for the first time and fall in love, for the child that will never take his first steps into his mommy’s arms, for the women that will never hear the word "mama" because an abortion left them BARREN. There are no planned parent’s that come out of Planned Parenthood, only empty arms and cradles."
Iowa Right to Life Committee irlc.org
Transcript of phone call from girl who aborted at a Florida abortion clinic
"Hi, I had a procedure done there (at Aware Woman abortion clinic) in January and I just think that while you are protesting you should just maybe tell the people what happened to me. I had an abortion in January of this year and two days later . . . they didn't give me an abortion. A baby came out in the toilet and I held it in my hand.
I tried to get counseling and things like that. You know all the therapist does is just want to dig up things that have happened in your life. She never wants to hit the issue that you want to talk about.
Well, I'm just calling . . . I mean you can tell the girls that, you know, if this is something they want to do, then don't go there (Aware Woman).
I tried to seek legal advice and pretty much Aware Woman has covered their butt. You know they are not going to let anything happen to them.
So, my intentions are only just to tell these girls that they might go in and pay $480.00 and their termination might be what happens. They don't know what might happen 2 or 3 days later. Maybe they may have a chance that nothing would happen to them. Their baby might come out like mine did -- whole. It wasn't torn, it wasn't anything. I was 13 weeks and I held it in my hand. It fit in the palm of my hand.
I have terrible, terrible problems. I bleed every day. I don't know if I will ever have children again. I am 22 years old.
Maybe I should have listened to the lady who was trying to talk to me when I went inside. I haven't talked to anyone else about this so it felt good just to have someone listen and not say anything."
Message left on sidewalk counselors answering machine
Depressed with nightmares
"She's an honor roll student who is very intelligent, but she was persuaded by a 19-year-old boy who has disappeared. Now she's depressed and labels herself a quitter and a killer. She hears the baby crying at night and has nightmares."
Mother of teen who had abortion
Arlington Morning News 03-20-1999
Abortion notification issue raising discussion
I was not accurately informed
"I used to be pro-choice -- I've had two abortions. I was not accurately informed.I was three months more pregnant than I thought I was. It was major trauma,I couldn't even think about it. I couldn't look at a baby. I couldn't listen to a vacuum cleaner."
Maria Franis
The Post-Star 07-03-2006
Pro-choice demonstrators counter anti-abortion protest
Greatest regret of my life
"If there had just been one person who told me I had other options, I would not be standing here. The greatest regret of my life was the taking of the life of my first child in 1979."
Faith Crowashaw
WPB Post 05-23-2006
W. Palm tones down laws aimed at abortion opponents at clinics
I went through depression
"I've never done this before, I went through a hard time afterwards. I went through depression. It was really hard."
Abortion Patient
Birmingham News 05-21-2006
Clinic's closing renews debate, Summit patients dismayed by care received
Was that my one chance to have a child?
A UK news source reported the regret of one woman who had an abortion but could no longer get pregnant, "Overwhelmed with regret over the termination, she asked Professor Ledger: 'Is the abortion the reason why I can't have children now. Was that my one chance to have a child?' "
The Daily Mail 06-30-2006
Why does Britain have record levels of abortion and an unprecedented need for IVF?
I thought as if it was almost still alive
"…[Four days after the abortion] I went to the washroom and there was a fetus, and I thoroughly examined it. I held it on a piece of Kleenex. I kept saying to myself, 'Don't do that, you are hurting it,' even though it was dead already [R's voice choked].I started thinking that it could have been a person it could have possibly been loved by somebody else who could have taken care of it. I thought as if it was almost still alive. That really shocked me. For about a week I had it wrapped up in that Kleenex and in the cabinet underneath the sink. I couldn't bring myself to throw it in the garbage or do anything like that. And then every time I came into the washroom I knew it would be in there and I wouldn't dare open the door of the cabinet. After about a week I worked up enough nerve to take another look at it. But by this time it was all sticking to the Kleenex and I just didn't want to start tearing it apart. So I ended up putting it in the garbage. It sounds so horrible saying it that way. It really affected me."
Abortion Patient
Canadian Business and Current Affairs, Western Report 10-04-1993
Hag-ridden by post-abortion guilt
I killed my baby
"You have to let feelings surface to cope with them, Much energy is consumed in deliberately not thinking about something. I went for years, not knowing why I was depressed, why I was suicidal. I went to a psychiatrist who told me it had nothing to do with my abortion. It took her 11 years to realize that "the underlying root of the problem was that I killed my baby."
She remarked, "As long as we're not allowed to recognize the source of our grief, and to grieve, we won't get it."
Beverly Daw, aborted at 16
Canadian Business and Current Affairs , Western Report 10-04-1993
Hag-ridden by post-abortion guilt
That will stay with me for the rest of my life
"There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my child that I killed. I think about that picture of the sonogram and I can see that little baby there and I don't think I will never be able to forgive myself. I am a freshman in college now. I went away to school because I couldn't take all the talk about me in my small town. Everyone found out what had happened, especially my friends at school and the teachers because I had a rough time for two months. I stayed sick and also got migraine headaches from the pregnancy. Everyone judged me and many were cruel about it. I still haven't forgiven myself and I don't think that I ever will because I aborted a little innocent baby. That will stay with me for the rest of my life.
I would like to make an appeal to all the girls in my situation. Don't do it! You will have to live with it forever. Remember that it is not just an unborn child - it is a part of you and no matter how bad it seems, the abortion won't fix it. It only makes it worse."
Ericka
Vanderbilt.edu
I had numerous complications and infections after the abortion
"I had numerous complications and infections after the abortion. I bled heavily for much longer than was normal, and I had terrible cramps most of the time. I eventually needed to have a minor operation to correct the problems, an operation, which made it impossible for me to have to ever have children again."
Amy J
Fwhc.org
Many voices, many choices
We are still coming to terms with the double loss
"As a mother of 4 and having lost my sister after she had an abortion for 'medical. I wonder if the support for medically induced abortions has improved at all since my sister died..... There was no support at all for her over twenty yeas ago....we are still coming to terms with the double loss....."
Bowleen
ABC OnlineForum, My Feotus
Are you aware of the phenomenon of abortion survivors?
"Are you aware of the phenomenon of abortion survivors? I am one of them, and I have had to deal with it every day of my life for over 40 years. I have a congenital disability, affecting my coordination, concentration, and behavior. It is called minimal cerebral dysfunction. I am now on a disability pension. So much for rights"
Julia
ABC OnlineForum, My Feotus
I have lived to tell the tale
"I am an abortion survivor. I have lived to tell the tale."
Franco
ABC OnlineForum, My Feotus
It was like an assembly line
"Please don't make the same mistake I did. I was 18 years old when I got pregnant. Since I had already enlisted in the Air Force, I thought I had to have an abortion in order to make something out of my life. My best friend drove me to the abortion clinic. It was like an assembly line. When the ultrasound was being done I asked to see it. But this wasn't allowed (so much for "an informed decision").
Then I asked how far along I was. I was told I was nine-and-a-half weeks pregnant. That hit me hard. I started doubting, and wanted to talk to my friend, but I wasn't allowed to. When it was my turn the nurse told me that I was going to feel some discomfort, like strong menstrual cramps. The truth is that the abortion was more pain than I've ever felt in my life. It felt like my insides were literally being sucked out of my body. Later I went into shock. After the abortion, I tried to make up for it by trying to get pregnant again. I wanted my baby back. I never got pregnant again. I don't know if I can ever have another baby. I named my baby. I found out later that this is part of the grieving process. Two-and-a-half years later, I ended up in the hospital with bulimia. I felt that no one had punished me for what I had done so I was punishing myself. I became obsessed with women who were pregnant. My life was in shambles! I was suffering from post-abortion trauma. When I was 21 years old I received help from a woman who was involved with pro-life activism. I went through a program called "Conquerors." Not only did I experience forgiveness, I was also challenged to help others."
Michelle C.
St. Croix Valley Life Care Center Website
I regret it seriously
"I had an abortion in 1981, and I regret it seriously, and I regret it because mostly I now know that women are strong enough to make truly life-affirming decisions. I was told that I was foolish, ignorant and immature not to realize how sensible it would be in my situation to have an abortion. I have worked since that time in all 50 states and in 17 countries overseas listening to women like myself who are angry that they feel betrayed by abortion rhetoric and slogans that suggest the best thing we can do when you face a crisis is put you in a situation where it's you vs. your child. We think, as women who've been through abortion experiences in this country, we can do better for women and their children.
Olivia Gans
Director, American Victims of Abortion
Interview on National Public Radio, Talk of the Nation 10-2-2000
I regret it (abortion) every day
"This is a very emotional time for me. I had an abortion when I was 16 and now I regret it every day."
Tatanjia B (of San Bernardino)
Press Enterprise (Riverside, CA) 1-17-2000
It (abortion) was a nightmare
"Abortion is not the answer. You can never undo what has been done, but you can always move forward. I chose to abort - twice. I was told I was too young at 17, had no family net, and a boyfriend who wanted nothing to do with becoming a parent. I take responsibility for my actions. At 24 I failed to stay on birth control. It was a new relationship; and when I told the father of my second pregnancy, he wanted nothing to do with me or his child. I was alone and scared. I panicked. It was a nightmare. After the second abortion I suffered PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) and finally got some help. I found my healing through a Christian-based counseling group called "Forgiven and Set free." I found my healing and can move on now. But that wasn't easy. It was a painful and emotional journey to get to where I'm at today. Post traumatic stress disorder is serious. Losing a child is serious. There are two victims in this tragic experience. We are left here on earth to deal with the suffering - mentally, emotionally, and psychological effects of choosing to abort. Please rethink your decision for everyone involved."
Cami
Teen Breaks.com
I had 3 abortions in my life
"I had 3 abortions in my life. One was a late term abortion. We won't go into the reasons why I justified the procedures. After 20 years, a great marriage and 3 daughters, the hurt and regret of those three abortions will always be with me. Abortion is a selfish act and an end to a child’s life who is struggling in its little world just like you are.
The South Dakota Task Force to Study Abortion, created by the state legislature to look at how best the state could "protect the rights, interests and health of pregnant mothers," just churned out a report, as it was tasked to do.On a topic usually drowning in euphemisms, where "choice" is used more often than "abortion," some women testified that for them, legal abortion gave them no precious "choice." To the contrary, the report says: "The overwhelming majority of women testified that they would never have considered an abortion if it were not legal. Many revealed that they feel that the legalization of abortion simply gave a license to others to pressure them into a decision they otherwise would not have made." Others "relate that they were coerced into having the abortion by the father of the child or a parent, and that the abortion clinics also apply pressure. They almost uniformly express anger toward the abortion providers, their baby's father or society in general, which promotes abortion as a great right--the exercise of which is good for women. "Women told the task force that they believe they were lied to. "If I had known that there was an existing living human being whose life would be terminated, I would have factored that into my considerations, and I surely would not have submitted to the procedure, and I would not have consented to it."
Angela
National Review 02-01-2006
Life Altering
I hated myself for what I did (abortion)
"The day came. The people were very matter-of-fact as they showed me the tube to be used in the suction procedure and "counseled" me. They drew blood, prepped me, and finally stood beside me as a strange, uncaring man took away my child. However, they weren't there a year later to take away the pain when I would hear a baby cry and yet there was no baby. Mine was gone. Since then I have denied it, accepted it, and hated it. I have wanted to talk about it, yet refused to discuss it. I hated myself for what I did and hated the "Right to Life" people for making me aware of it. It is shattering to find out after having an abortion that the "blob of tissue" actually had fingers and toes. I went up and down trying to deal with what I had done. I couldn't tell anyone. Then I finally found the answer for me. I took it all to Jesus and asked Him to forgive me and to heal me. He has brought me to this point and made me able to face it in hopes of helping someone who is where I once was."
Sherry
TeenBreaks.com
It's (abortion) i
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Repeat abortions
"I've had three abortions, and that hurts women like me," she said. "It devastates us physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally."
Luana
Akron Beacon Journal 1-23-2004
Catholic Bishops join Roe protest; 20-Plus at anti-abortion mass, rally
I was sold 5 abortions
Abortion # 1: "When I became pregnant with my first child I wanted to have that baby, but I was living with a man who absolutely did not want the baby. I let weeks go by and I kept thinking, "maybe he'll change his mind", but he never did. And I ended up caving in to the pressure and having the abortion. I did go ahead and have it. And the one thing I remember about that first abortion was that it was in an old house. And as I sat on an old bench waiting for the abortion (I was with my girlfriend, who was about seven months pregnant), all I kept on thinking was: "How come she gets to keep her baby and I don't?" I don't remember anything about the procedure, but I do remember walking out of that center thinking "I'm not the same person. I am a hard, cold person and I'm never ever going to let this happen to me again. Never will I let that happen to me again."
Abortion # 2: I lived with another man and I got pregnant again. And this time I said: "I'm not gonna do it." And I called all my friends. I said, "Please help me!" And every one of them, the first thing they said was, "This isn't a good time, but I'll be happy to go with you to the abortion clinic to have it done. I'll even help you with money". So I finally decided to call my mom and my mom said "This would be an embarrassment to our family, but I'll be happy to go to the clinic with you." So I ended up the next day driving to the clinic doing something that I did not want to do. I did not know God, but the whole way there I kept on saying "If there would only be somebody there that'll help me... that'll help me with what I want." When I got there, there was nobody there. My boyfriend put five Valiums in my hand and said "Bye-bye" and dropped me off. And I walked into that clinic and I said, "I want to talk to somebody. I need to see a counselor. I need to talk to somebody." When I went into the office of the counselor, by the time she got through with me I remember looking up at the ceiling thinking: "I thought this was choice, but I have no choice at all". And I popped those five Valiums in my mouth. I took the rest of the medication that the clinic offered and I had it done. And when I left that clinic I was even colder and harder. I began to really abuse alcohol and drugs. I had terrible dreams. I started having dreams, so many dreams about children being killed. But I never put two and two together that it was from my abortions.
Abortion # 3: And then that relationship ended right away and I ended up becoming engaged to another man and got pregnant and I was on the birth control pill; and the doctor said: "Well you must have an abortion or your child will be deformed". And believing the lie of the doctor and believing that he was God, just taking his word, I went ahead with another one, which was something I did not want to do. And after that we were married, but the marriage lasted eight months, and it was over.
Abortion # 4+5: My next two abortions all I can say is that I was in a really bad state. I didn't care about myself and I didn't care about anybody else. On the fourth abortion I was taken to the hospital because of hemorrhaging. I remember sitting in the hospital all alone. I had called the abortion clinic for help and nobody returned my phone call. And from there on it was just a dead-end street. I began to do a tremendous amount of Cocaine and drank a lot just to cover the pain.
Forgiveness: A man that I had been a friend with for many, many years, one day he was at the pool and reading a Bible. And I said, "Well Rich, why are you reading a Bible?" And I laughed at him and he said, "Well Michelle, I've rededicated my life back to Christ and I'm living for Christ now." I laughed and I went on. And for the whole weekend I drank and I drank and I drank. And on Sunday, which was June 29th of 1986 at about four o'clock in the morning, I called him and I gave my life to Christ. From that morning on I never drank again; I've never done drugs again. And it's been a long, long road. It took me a long, long time. I mean, the Lord delivered me of the drugs and alcohol, but it took a long time for me to admit what I had really done; and that was: I took the lives of five innocent human beings. If it wasn't for the grace of God forgiving me for that and giving me a new life, I would not be here because there were many times I wanted to kill myself. But there was always that sweet, small voice that gave me hope to go on. And my grandmother, my precious grandmother, who now sits in a nursing home from Alzheimer's disease, always read the Bible. And she told me about hell when I was a little girl. And the one thing that kept me from killing myself was that I knew I was going to hell. And that was the one thing that stopped me. And I knew that I didn't know how to get to heaven, and when I found out how I could get to heaven and the Lord forgave me and He gave me new life, that is the reason I am alive today. And I would just say that abortion is the worst thing a woman could ever do. It completely destroys your life and no matter how you want to cover it up its always back in your mind what you did. We know as women what we've really done.
Michele H. (KS)
HLI, Miami Interview
I was sold 7 abortions
"Eleven years, three clinics, two states, seven abortions. I'm Joyce Zounis from Denver, Colorado, and this is my story:
Abortion: I was 15-years-old when my mom and I walked into that abortion clinic in Fayetteville, North Carolina. And she said, "Joyce, don't you tell a word to anyone about this, and we're never going to talk about it again." I had no idea what I was going in for other than to end my crisis pregnancy. I had never even been to an OB-GYN's office. My thoughts were on my cheerleading practice I was going to miss that afternoon. I went and waited, and sat and waited for my name to be called, like the appointments I knew for my braces. But I found that this was like no other appointment I had ever gone to. They told me, "Joyce, it's not going to hurt." It's lasted 27 years. "Joyce," they said, "it's going to be over really quick." It's lasted 27 years. As I lay on that abortion clinic table, it was the first time between my legs that I met face-to-face that abortionist. And he said, "You know, Joyce, if you ever see me in public, don't you ever acknowledge who I am." I looked at everything in the room except what was beside me and that was the container that my baby was going to be placed in moments later. And as the procedure began, he said, "Take a quick breath" and it would be over. And as quick as he did that, I turned my head, and mistakenly saw what they called a "product of conception," my baby, enter into that tube.
Repeated: Eleven years later, I found myself walking into the same doors of that abortion clinic, laying on that same table, taking that same pill, and wearing that same gown. But this time it was a different abortionist. And we found that I was further along in my pregnancy than what we thought. He was very upset because I was going to have to come back that afternoon. So inserted laminaria, and I interfered with his golf game. Well, moments later, once the procedure began, that -- I had entered to like a trance for the last 10, 11 years, and once that abortion machine began again, it was like all of a sudden, that bubble of disparity, of disbelief popped, and I began to weep uncontrollably. And he was so upset with me. And he was very rough. He was very pleased that I saw my blood on his garments. As soon as the procedure was over, off to that recovery room he sent me, and within five to 10 minutes, out the back door.
Regrets: Eleven years, three clinics, two states, seven abortions, never was I once told of my physical, my emotional, my mental potential complications that I would face as a woman who chose -- I chose; I was not forced; I chose to exercise my American right to choose. But they never told me, Joyce, bilateral mammograms, ovarian cysts, the delivery of my last pregnancy of my baby -- I have five children. I was in bed for five months and lost two pints of blood. I had a partial hysterectomy at the birth of my daughter. Do you know what it's like to have to look in your children's eyes and to tell them, "Mommy may die," but to then know it's because I chose to exercise my right to choose? Because, you see, this was my 12th pregnancy. The emotional complications have been just tremendous -- mental anguish. I can't tell you what it's like to grieve the emptiness of your arms, knowing what you did to your children; numbness; going through life raged. For years my first response to everything was just anger. And I was there, but I wasn't there in person. -- Today I tell you, the nation, the world, abortion hurts women, and I deeply regret my choice."
Ms. Joyce Zounis
Federal News Service Inc.
Justice Foundation Press Conference 1-18-2005
Niece of Martin Luther King, Jr. Abortion hurt me
I'm Alveda King, founder of King for America and the niece of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who once said that the Negro cannot win if he's willing to sacrifice the life of his children for personal comfort and safety. I made the choice to have my second abortion right after Roe versus Wade. And that abortion -- the real truth is the abortion hurt me; it hurt my living children. I'm the mother of six. They often say, "Well, mommy, you killed our brother or sister. Did you want to kill me too?" And I've had to answer that and pray. I suffered in silence for 10 years until 1983, when I was born again and the Lord Jesus rescued me from the private pain and began to let me go out and talk about my abortion. And people would say, "Why do you do that? Keep it to yourself." But every time I've done it, I've met women and even some men who have said, "Thank you for telling that truth, and thank you for saving my baby."
I'm an African-American, and I marched and went to jail. And my dad was killed right after his brother, Dr. Martin Luther King. And there's a song and it says -- (singing) -- "Oh, freedom. Oh, freedom. Oh, freedom over me, over me. And before I'll be a slave, I'll be buried in my grave and go home to my Lord and be free. "Well, Roe versus Wade has helped us to send over 45 million slaves away from here. And so I'm asking us not to be selfish, and consider the truth. The other song, "Glory, glory, Hallelujah, his truth is marching on." Well, the truth is, abortion hurts women. It kills children. It hurt me. The beloved community of Martin Luther King Jr. really includes the babies. So just remember that and the women who are suffering. I suffered the risk of ovarian cancer, had a serious procedure for that, and breast cancer. I mean, this happened to me. So I'm not asking you to think about me. God bless you.
Alveda King
Founder of King for America
Federal News Service Inc., Justice Foundation Press Conference 1-18-2005
I experienced abortion 3 times
I was 17 at the time of my first abortion, I wanted to have the baby so I kept putting off telling my mother I was pregnant. (My father had passed away when I was 13). By the time I had informed my mother of my condition I was about 3 months pregnant. She asked me what I wanted to do, I told her I wanted to have the baby. She said OK. When my boyfriend told his father, he became outraged. He came over to speak with my mother and convinced her that abortion was the only answer. My mother was a single parent with 3 children still at home, she was easily convinced and knowing that my mother knew what was best for me, I too was persuaded. My boyfriend's father paid for the whole thing, and got me the best Dr. in the area. However, this Dr. told me that for reasons I still don't understand, I had to wait a while before I could have the abortion. I believe I was about 4 or 5 months pregnant by the time I had the abortion. I had to have what I recently found out is a saline abortion. Salt water was injected into my abdomen. Some hours later I went into labor and got to deliver a dead baby. I could feel everything and nobody told me what to expect from the contractions on down to the horrifying delivery. My mother was there with me the whole time. We drove home from the hospital the next day and never mentioned it again until 3 weeks ago.
Abortion # 2: I'm 31 years old now. I had my 2nd abortion when I was 20. I was living with a man who would later become my husband. He was very domineering and had pretty good control over me. I was always easily controlled. When I became pregnant there was no discussion over it. He told me what had to be done, I did it. There was nobody there to tell me I did not have to do this. No one offered me an alternative, I went down to the clinic with girl friend. My boy friend said he would be too embarrassed to go with me. I was laying on a gurney in a long room with about 15 other girls, all there for the same reason. They gave me some sort of relaxant, rolled the gurney into the operating room, hooked me up and started vacuuming. The pain was horrible and seemed to last forever. After it was over they put me back in the room with all the other girls and there I proceeded to vomit. I laid there for about 30 minutes and they told me it was time to leave. It was a very humiliating experience.
Abortion # 3: By the time I had my 3rd, and last abortion, I was 23. I had a 1 1/2-year-old boy. I had just separated from my husband and now I was pregnant, with another man's baby. This did not look good. My boyfriend and I decided that abortion was the only answer. We arranged everything together. But this time I did not want any pain or memories. So we arranged that I would be put to sleep during the procedure, that wasn't so bad, but again, I got sick to my stomach and had to vomit right after. You ask how the abortions affected others and me. Well, for years I was able to ignore them, pretend that they were nothing, that they meant nothing. It's just not true! Those decisions I made were the wrong thing. I destroyed 3 of my own children. I feel that by having 2 more abortions after the first one, I was trying to tell myself "see, that first one was nothing I could do this a million times because it's nothing, just a mass of tissue".
The Regret: Well, now I know better, I was lied to and I lied to myself. And now I get to live with all this sorrow for the rest of my life. I'm in the process of being healed emotionally right now. I'm starting to forgive myself and the others that were involved, but still, I will always have to live with the loss. I will always grieve for those babies that I never got to hold I believe I would still be pro choice if I had not experienced "abortion" personally. People are literally lied to. I know I was, and not told any of the facts about fetal development. I am so glad I was pulled from my denial and saw things as they really are, not how I wanted them to be. I want to help other girls and women by getting the truth known. Your decision does not end the minute that life is sucked from your body; it's a decision that will never leave you for the rest of your life.
Un-Named
Testimony from: St. Croix Valley Life Care Center Website
She never gave me alternative choices
"She (the abortion clinic counselor) told us it would be difficult for us to have a baby. She said she had three kids herself and the financial aspect was difficult for her. She never gave me alternative choices or asked me if I wanted to keep the baby; she just kept playing on my fears and making me believe that it would work out."
Kelly
Forced Abortion in America, Portraits of Coercion: Elliot Institute
4 abortions, I was lied to
"I'm from Brentwood, Tennessee. I had my four abortions: that abortion would hurt me, that abortion would put my own children's life at risk, that I would have miscarriages. This is my Story:
Abortion # 1: My first abortion was in Memphis, Tennessee, on Union Avenue, and the nurses sat above me and talked about birthday cake while my tears rolled off. And I thought if I got it fast enough, it wouldn't turn into a baby, and I did not know that the word "fetus" means unborn child. And when I got into the recovery room, I sat with other women that looked like they had just gone in for a facial, because that is how it has become for so many women.
Abortion # 2: My second abortion was also in Memphis, Tennessee, and it was in a house, and it was the most painful experience I've ever endured in my life. And I thought it was going to be a quick and easy experience, because that's what I was told, and that's what I wanted to remember. But it was the most painful experience in my life. My child was a lot further along than we thought it was. The doctor wouldn't speak to me other than to say to hold still and be quiet. I pinched into the nurse's arm so badly that I thought she was angry with me, and I thought I was drawing blood. And I screamed because I couldn't stay quiet.
Abortion # 3: I have very little memory of my third abortion, except that I bled for weeks, and weeks, and weeks afterward.
Abortion # 4: And my fourth abortion in Glendale, California, they called me and they said, we don't think we got it all. And I didn't know at that time that what they did was that they looked at the head and the torso, and the two legs, and the two arms, to determine that they had gotten the completion of my baby. I did not know that. So, hardened as I was by my fourth abortion, I said, "What do you think you left a leg or something in me?"
Regrets: It's been 14 years since my last abortion, and it's been a week- and-a-half since my last nightmare of my abortions. My daughter and I drove past a church with a thousand crosses in the front yard, and I pulled over knowing what it was representing, and we picked up the crosses and planted them back into the ground. And I told my daughter, my 4-year-old daughter what I had done, and that she had brothers and sisters that her mommy didn't allow to live. And she said, "I miss my brothers and sisters." And I said, "I do too, honey. I'm so sorry." And she said, "It's okay, Mommy." But it's not okay with me. I was lied to. That is not in my best interest. That is not how you take care of women. I was not cared for. I was not followed up on. I was not observed when I was bleeding. I was manipulated and deceived.
Karen Strong
Federal News Service Inc.
Justice Foundation Press Conference 1-18-2005
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Rape and abortion regret
I was pregnant from a date rape. I had tried to hide it from my parents, but of course they found out. Then the pressure started, " How are you going to go to college with a baby?" " How are you going to support it?" "It’s only a blob of blood. It’s not a baby yet." Before I had time to think about what I wanted, the abortion was over.
The abortion itself was like a living hell. I thought my guts were being pulled out. It was degrading and I was terrified. When it was over, something made me ask the doctor, " Was it a boy or a girl?" He answered, " I can’t tell, its in pieces." The counseling consisted of throwing some birth control pills at me. It so hard to put into words how the abortion affected me. Looking back and knowing what I know now, I realize that I was going through almost classic Post-Abortion Syndrome. I became a tramp and slept with everyone and anyone. I engaged in unprotected sex, and each month when I wasn’t pregnant I would go into a deep depression. I was rebellious, I wanted my parents to see what I had become. I dropped out of college. I tried Suicide, but I didn’t have the guts to slit my wrists or blow my brains out. I couldn’t get my hands on sleeping pills so I resorted to over-the-counter sleep aids and booze. I was driven with the need to have a child and I knew that if I was married my parents couldn’t do anything about it. In trying to deal with the abortion, I had to face what I had done and beg forgiveness from my God. The hardest thing of all is trying to forgive myself. Not a day goes by that the abortion doesn’t cross my mind. It’s a constant struggle trying to overcome my guilt and depression, even knowing I have been forgiven.
Un-Named Victim:
The Jericho Plan, Breaking down the walls, which prevent post-abortion healing
David C. Reardon
I was raped, the abortion also violated me
"I was a victim of incest. In spite of the pain and guilt I felt, it was far better to have a baby than the alternative- to kill it. I refused to have an abortion…My father flew into an uncontrollable rage and demanded that I consent to the abortion. The doctor asked three nurses to hold me while he strapped me to the bed. I continued to scream that I didn’t want the abortion. He told me, " Shut up and quit that yelling!" I was violated by my father and I was violated by the abortionist."
Denise
Forced Abortion in America, Portraits of Coercion: Elliot Institute
Incest Victim Writes
"On a personal note: I have had three abortions, two from incest and one from my then boyfriend, who later became my husband. The first two abortions were a result of incest, but I denied that fact for 18 years. Each time I became pregnant, I agonized about what I was doing and tried to make "deals" with God. I hated myself for compromising my own morals. Obviously, I have come from an extremely dysfunctional family, but God has always been a central part of my life, and that is what has pulled me through my trials and tribulations."
Renew America: Stolen innocence, the sin of incest,
Deanna Spingola 2-4-2006
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I lost him after the abortion anyway
"What followed were years of turmoil, confusion, emotional death. The boy I thought loved me couldn’t handle what happened to me. The relationship dissolved. So did my belief in love. I felt worthless."
Kathy age 16
The Jericho Plan, Breaking down the walls, which prevent post-abortion healing
David C. Reardon
I resented him after my abortion
"Following my second abortion, my relationship to the man I was living with changed dramatically. I contradicted everything he said, I resented him, my stomach ached overtime he touched me. I was totally numb. I never smiled. I had no idea how to have fun."
Liane
The Jericho Plan, Breaking down the walls, which prevent post-abortion healing
David C. Reardon
Shortly after that we broke up
"He took me to my appointment. I cried the entire time. Shortly after that we broke up. Things were just not the same for us. The guilt we both carried was way too much for us to bear. This is something that has haunted us both all of our lives. It will never go away; and I know because our baby should have been nineteen years old this month. To this day I still have dreams of a faceless child and wake up in the middle of the night crying. I encourage anyone who is thinking about abortion to go talk to your parents, aunts, or uncles. Get support. Having a child to look at each day for the rest of your life will bring you so much more joy than the pain and guilt you will carry from aborting your baby. Life happens for a reason, and God never gives you anything you can't handle."
Kristine
Teenbreaks.com
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Memorials to the aborted unborn
Memorial 1:
I have hurt for so long about the choice I made. I was in a lonely place with a son I could already not take care of. I should have been more careful but hence you were created. I was selfish and didn't have anyone I could lean on to give me good advice. I chose a course that has made me grieve for almost 9 years. Yes, in June you will be 9. I went on to have 2 other children to help me with the pain I felt. They have never replaced you in my heart. I hope that you will forgive my mistake and I hope God will forgive it to. I hope that someday we will meet. I hope that someday I can forgive myself....
I love you,
Mommy
Memorial 2:
My dearest little ones, Your daddy, and your aunt graduated this weekend. It was wonderful. I saw your dad on Saturday and we spent the day together, it was very nice but very depressing. Him and I went to the park and watched the children play as we ate lunch and then your aunt patty came over with her new baby (your cousin) Brock, and so I sat there and held him the whole time. Needless to say, your daddy cried. I called him on fathers day, and he didn’t want to talk though, he said he just wanted to be alone. Now I realize that I should have made this decision with him. I am so sorry. If it weren’t for me being so selfish you would both be here. I love you two so much. I will talk to you soon.
Love mommy,
Desiree
Memorial 3:
My precious baby, I can’t be sorry enough to make up for what I've done to you. Mommy never meant to cause you ANY pain. At the time you were conceived, when your father found out about you he didn’t want anything to do with us. At the time I thought I was doing what was best for you and me. And now that I think about it everyday and I beg that you will forgive me for my selfishness I am so sorry for not giving you a chance...I'm so sorry baby please don’t hate me I know your little precious heart isn’t capable of hate but I would deserve it if you did. Please know that I Love you so much and the day will come (hopefully) when we will meet because I long to hold you in my arms. Praying that the Lord Jesus Christ will forgive me and allow me to see you when it is time. I Love You and You are in all my thoughts and prayers.
Miss you ...Love You .....
Memorial 4:
It is so strange how circumstances change our way of thinking. Not only did I do it once I did it twice. I aborted 2 of my babies. I don't understand it, even though I did it. I love both of my babies, I love you so much I am so sorry. I wonder what color eyes you have? What color hair you would have. How much I miss you, you don't even know. It has been six years. My life is not the same you have changed me. I love you, I'm so sorry my precious angel baby. Mommy is so sorry. If God will forgive me one day I will hold you and love you like you deserve.
Love forever
Mommy
Memorial 5:
Would like to say that in Jan of 96' I did something I never thought I would do in my life. I had a abortion. I remember that day so well and it was weird because right before it was done my heart felt like "What did I just do?" I couldn’t believe it. I was being very selfish and I prayed to God and ask for his forgiveness and I also tell him that when I’m ask why I did it that I will not have a answer for that except I was being selfish and just thinking of myself and not the precious gift he gave me. And I just didn’t want to have the responsibility. I have so many thoughts and questions about that that only God and me can answer. I also wondered was it a boy or girl? If the baby would are did ever forgive me?. I cant answer that question ( I really wish I knew). I told only the "father" and a couple of "close friends" about it. When that comes to mind (and that’s always in the back of my mind)of what I did I feel like maybe I shouldn’t be forgiving. I really hate myself for that and if someone reads this and hates me for it I deserve it because I do think about the baby and what if? Well it’s to late for that. I just hope and pray that that the precious soul (the baby) and God will forgive me. And I would like to say to the baby that I am truly sorry and that they are always in mind and my thoughts and that If I could turn back time I would not do it, and that also
I really do love you and I'm sorry and you are in my heart forever
Memorial 6:
To my unborn baby, whether you were a boy or a girl, I loved you. It was not my decision to do this to you. You made me complete. And then, it was forced upon me to make a decision that I will regret for the rest of my life. I know you are in heaven and I know God is taking real good care of you.
Until the day we meet......
love, mom
Memorial 7: I was young and easy swayed. I chose badly in both the men I was with and my choice not to bring you to life. Those are decisions I've hurt emotionally over for 24 years. I am so sorry. I loved you with all my heart but I was weak and scared. I pray that the Creator has you in his/her heart until I can be there to care for you again.
Love mommy
Memorial 8: My Dearest Angle in Heaven, my heart is broken for what I have done. I went to my mother she gave me the wrong advice. I beg for your forgiveness and for God's forgiveness, every day. The word sorry is not strong enough for the sorrow that I feel. There is no excuse for what I have done. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and love you. You have two sisters and two brothers, they know all about you, and they still love me. I hope that you can forgive me and love me too. You are 20 years old now, I am so sorry that I didn't defy and let you live.... I am stronger now, if I don't want to do something I don't. For that I have to thank you, because before I was a doormat for people to walk on.. Darling' the guilt, pain, sorrow, get worse everyday. I hope and pray that if I ever get to Heaven to see you, I want to hold you and take care of you like I should have.... Darling’ I love you more than words can say, my heart yearns for you and for your forgiveness. May the Lord have mercy on me...A kiss of love upon your forehead a tear upon my cheek....
I love you Angle...Love Mommy
Memorial 9: It has been 14 years since I entered that ugly doctor’s office and did away with your life. How I wish I walked the other way that day. How I wish I had known Jesus that day and let him into my heart. I pray I can forgive myself for what I did. You are an angel and I know that one day I will sit with you and hold you and cry for eternity. God forgive me... grant me peace through your son Jesus Christ.
Sleep my angel.
Love Mommy
Memorial 10:
Dear Babies...I was only 13 when this happened. I was terrified. I thought I was in love, mature and I was blind. The relationship between your father and I ended very soon after this. Please forgive me.. I didn't know what to do...this seemed like the way out for me. I was numb. I'm sorry that I took life from you. Now that I'm older I realize how beautiful life is and I want you to know that I am SO sorry for taking that away. I only hope that you can forgive me. I didn't have the strength and courage to go through the fear imagined and anticipated disgust from my family and public. I regret at times not having the courage to give you life and a family. I have worked on forgiving myself and moving forward and would like to complete this by writing to you. You have a sister now. I hope you can see her and love and watch her from above. I hope that when we meet again, we can hold each other and love one another.
I love you.
Memorial 11:
I have made so many wrong choices in my life, but not taking responsibility and aborting you was the biggest mistake ever. I'm so sorry that I buckled under the pressure to have an abortion. Even while I was going through with it, I knew it was wrong. I was just so scared and knew I was going to be on my own and didn't want that to be the case. I wish I had the confidence than that I do now because our lives would be so different now. I think of you so often and wonder how you would look. If you would have blue or green eyes like your dad or me? If your hair would have been curly like mine? I wonder if you would have been an Elizabeth or an Adam? Mostly I wonder if your dad would have ever chosen to be a part of your life? I'm so sorry that I aborted you. I'm never going to forget you. In my heart I will always be your Mom and I know someday we'll meet in Heaven.
XOXO
Memorial 12:
My sweet baby, You don't know how many years that I have regretted my decision. You would have been 31 years old now; but I was not strong enough to tell my parents. I was a coward, a weak, weak person and was not a Christian. My life was so messed up and did not realize what I had done until it was too late. Please forgive me and I will see you in heaven someday with your brother, aunts and grandparents.
I love you so much. Mama
Colleen:
Sissy: (Written as a Memorial to her lost sibling)
You were supposed to be my brother or maybe sister. But I carry the pain of your loss just as if I knew you face to face. Mommy is so very wounded by what she chose but she is now covered by the blood of Jesus. We will all get to see you later. How I hate this horror that is called abortion, it stole you from me.
Your sissy,
Colleen
Sister:
To my Oldest Sister. (Written as a Memorial to her lost sibling)
I know Mom made a horrible mistake. And I am not going to make an excuse for her. I feel like i should live for you to. Please Lord Forgive her, and please sis Forgive her too. I know you are in the Lords Arms...
I Love You...sis...
*kiss*
Sibling: My Brother Billy ~. ( Written as a Memorial to her lost sibling)
I wish you were here,
I love you.
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